


He Should Have Been Kissing Me

by beta_wolf



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, New Years Eve, Pining, Questioning, Sexuality Crisis, reluctant arthur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beta_wolf/pseuds/beta_wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin was invited to Morgana's New Year's Eve Party.  What he didn't expect to see was his ex boss and crush making out with someone who wasn't him.</p><p>In which Merlin and Arthur kissed in the past, but Arthur wasn't ready to admit to himself that he is bisexual and in love with his best friend.  It has been a year and seeing Merlin again makes him realize that perhaps he was a bit of an idiot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin grinned as he looked around the party. Through the crowd of people he could see that Gwen was lodged securely to Lance. She was laughing, and he was sure she had never looked quite so pretty. Gawaine sent him a wink when Merlin’s gaze reached him. His arm was wrapped around some curly haired chap he had picked up at the pub on the way over. Merlin rolled his eyes. Morgana was sitting in a chair looking every bit a queen with a flock of friends around her laughing at her easy quips. He was proud of how far she had come in the past year, forgiving Uther for lying about being her father and starting up her own business to vex him rather than attempting to bankrupt him through illegal means.

“Almost midnight!” Percy yelled in Merlin’s ear to be heard over the music. It was hardly loud enough to warrant a full scream, but he was red faced and drunk.

Merlin grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. “Right you are!”

“This is good. Youwantone?” The words came out in a jumbled slur.

“No thanks,” Merlin said. He whispered a spell under his breath and changed Percy’s drink into water. Percy could hold his liquor well. Merlin shuddered to think how much he must have drank to get this wasted this early.

“She’s a pretty one,” Percy said and wandered off without further ado. Merlin looked at the clock and saw there was still five minutes to midnight. Feeling cramped by the number of people and consequential loudness and heat, Merlin made his way to the balcony. It was locked shut but it was only the matter of a quick spell to open the door. He closed it behind him and then breathed in the crisp fresh air. It was six degrees out, not too cold for New Year’s Eve in London. The city was lit up brilliantly. The noise of the party leaked through the glass doors giving the city view a muffled soundtrack. Merlin leaned against the rail and smiled. He only meant to come out here a few minutes, so as not to miss the countdown, but he thought this might be a much better way to bring in the new year.

His peace was disturbed by the sound of a door opening. It was a sight for sorry eyes. The couple slammed the door behind them wrapped tightly around each other, not paying any mind to Merlin’s presence. Merlin felt his stomach clench. It had taken him only half a second to recognize Arthur’s blonde hair.

After an entire minute had gone by and neither had noticed him, Merlin said, “Nice view don’t you think.”

Arthur’s head shot up, while the dark haired woman didn’t stop trying to kiss him. “Merlin. What are you doing here?”

“I fancied a bit of fresh air,” Merlin said. He gripped the rail tightly to prevent himself from doing anything he might later regret to the woman who was attacking Arthur’s neck like it was an ice cream cone.

“I meant, here, at the party,” Arthur said.

“I was invited. Your sister doesn’t have to ask for your permission to invite people to her flat does she?” Merlin walked towards the door. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have come.”  Arthur stared after Merlin as the dark haired woman came back to his mouth for more kisses. Arthur closed his eyes and gave in.

Merlin walked inside where he was assaulted by screams, party whistles, pats on the back and couples kissing. He did his best to smile as he made his way to the door. He had thought he was ready to face his ex. He thought he could handle seeing him again, but if he was honest with himself, he imagined Arthur would have changed his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be back later to continue. Got to go to work


	2. Chapter 2

The first thought Merlin had when he woke up was that he didn’t have a headache. That wouldn’t have been all together odd, as he didn’t spend nearly as much time at the pub as Arthur thought he did. Arthur. He was at Morgana’s party last night. Merlin groaned to himself and pulled the sheets up over his head. Of course Arthur was there, Merlin just hadn’t expected to see him making out with the female version of himself. To be fair he had never gotten a look at her face, but she had dark hair, which was close enough. What had he been expecting anyway? That Arthur would have suddenly decided he was comfortable admitting he liked cock?

Merlin grabbed at his phone and saw that despite heading in early and not getting plastered, he had managed to sleep till noon. His phone was about to burst with the amount of texts he had. At least twenty alone from Gwen, though as the night went on she seemed to forget that she was concerned about where he had disappeared to and was just sending him a stream of emojis. There were also a significant amount from Will, and some from a smattering of other friends. Staring at the screen was giving him the headache he didn’t have from the alcohol. Just as he was about to throw his phone back into the mess of his bed, he noticed one name his eyes had somehow glossed over. He mentally braced himself as he clicked on the conversation for Arthur Pendragon (10).

Arthur Pendragon (received 2:34 AM) I mis you..  
Arthur Pendragon (received 2:45 AM) You dindt have too leave  
Arthur Pendragon (received 2:52 AM) Didn’t*  
Arthur Pendragon (received 2:56 AM) Youre the best asissitant I evr had  
Arthur Pendragon (received 3:05 AM) And friend  
Arthur Pendragon (received 3:15 AM) You shold come back too wrok  
Arthur Pendragon (received 3:18 AM) the new assisntant is an event bigger dollophead than you were  
Arthur Pendragon (received 3:21 AM) Sorry for all the tesxts  
Arthur Pendragon (received 3:24 AM) Sorry form calling you a dollophead  
Arthur Pendragon (received 3:27 AM) You really can bee one through

“You’re the dollophead,” Merlin muttered. He had already typed the message into his phone, but then he deleted it.  They hadn’t talked in months, just about a year really.  Last night Arthur had clearly made up for all the drinking Merlin himself had not done.  Arthur hadn’t been in his right mind when he was texting. Today he would look at his phone, see the texts he sent, and then spend four hours later on at the gym trying to bury his shame with an exercised induced testosterone rush.

Merlin rolled out of bed and made for the kitchen. “A hot cup of coffee fixes everything.”

“Did someone say coffee?” a female voice from the couch said. Merlin dropped the pot in surprise, which caused a loud clatter. “Ouch. Why loud noises?”

Merlin used his magic to pick up the pot and then hit the on switch.  “I didn’t know you were coming home last night?”

Gwen moaned. “Questions before coffee, with a hangover. Bad.  Why don’t you have a hang over? Where did you go last night?”

“I don’t suppose the I haven’t had coffee excuse works for me too?”

Gwen grinned. “Nope.”

Merlin sighed and leaned across the counter.  “I saw Arthur.”

“You were at his sister’s flat,” Gwen pointed out, but her face was sympathetic.

“I know I just didn’t think he’d be making out with someone else,” Merlin admitted.  “Of course it’s been a year, and Arthur was always the dating guy. It doesn’t really bother me.” Gwen glared.  “Ok, it bothers me, but I thought I had moved on.”

“Really Merlin? We share a flat. You can’t lie to me.”

“Look at that. The coffee is up!” Merlin fumbled about the kitchen making two cups of coffee with cream and plenty of sugar, then joined Gwen on the couch.  “So what are you doing on our couch this morning?”

Gwen took a big gulp of the steaming coffee.  It would have scalded her mouth had he not adjusted the temperature for her with his magic in anticipation of her trying to drink the whole cup in one go.  She checked her phone.  “It’s eleven thirty not morning, and I did go to Lance’s place, but then he had a thingy with the company, project stuff.  I made him drive me home rather than sit at his place all day.  Plus we were worried about you.”

Having answered his question, she looked pointedly at him.  “Ok, fine. I hadn’t really given it any thought. Happy?”

Gwen tipped her head to the side.  Her eyes were doing that thing where they got bigger and looked sadder.  “No.”

“He offered me my job back,” Merlin added after a few moment’s silence.

“While he was kissing someone?” Gwen asked.

“Er, no. He texted me,” Merlin passed his phone over and watched as Gwen scrolled through the messages.

“You didn’t text him back,” she stated.

Merlin snatched back his phone and got up.  “He didn’t speak to me for a year. He only texted me because he saw me and he was drunk.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say he never thought about you,” Gwen started.

“No, Gwen.  I told you that I didn’t want to hear about what happens when you and Lance hang out with Arthur.  That was the rule if you wanted me to come back from Ealdor.” Gwen looked like she was going to argue. Merlin hated to admit it, but he wanted her to.  Maybe she could give him some hope, but as Will said, it would only be wasted energy.  “I’ve got to get ready for work.”

“You don’t have a shift till four o’clock,” Gwen yelled after him as he disappeared into his bedroom.  She shook her head as she sunk back into the couch.  Later today she would have a lot of texting to do, but for now she was going back into hibernation. This was the last time she did shots with Percy and Gawain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I might just make this fic into a oneshot later, since I think it's going to be reasonably short. but because I'm posting it piece meal as I write it I'm going to keep it in chapters for now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg sorry this took so long. Hopefully I will be quicker with the next installment!!!!

Arthur kept a paranoid watch on the door while he sipped on his coffee from his table in the corner. He was trying incredibly hard to not think about the texts he had sent to Merlin the night before. He still didn’t remember sending them, but when he woke up there they were on his phone. 

This morning he had said a quick farewell to Emma, Emily, Anna? The plan had been to sneak out, but she had woken up when he accidentally knocked some of her things off the bedside table. Thankfully, her hangover appeared to be something fierce, so she didn’t bother complaining when he left. It made him feel like a complete wanker though. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a one-night stand. He had enough time to go home shower eat lunch and then cancel his meager afternoon plans when he got a text from his sister.

Someone walked through the door causing the chimes to jingle, but it wasn’t Morgana. He opened their phone conversation to ensure he hadn’t made up her text.

Evil Sister (received 1:03 AM): Meet me at The Holy Grail of Grounds for coffee at 3:30. It’s important. Don’t be late.

It was 3:29. If anyone was going to be late, it was Morgana. Just then the door opened. Arthur swore she always showed up exactly on time on purpose. Sure enough, in walked his sister looking bright eyed and wide awake. There was not a single trace of a hangover about her. She surveyed the room, and when she saw him her eyes narrowed into a glare.

Shit, he thought. He didn’t have much time to devote to dreading whatever she was about to rail him about when he saw Gwen come in behind her. Arthur picked up his coffee and drank the rest of it. He was going to need his strength. With Morgana it could have been anything, but Gwen’s presence meant it was going to be about Merlin. His high school sweetheart rarely made a point of seeking him out unless it was about Merlin. It made him feel better that Gwen looked slightly disheveled. It meant he was in the presence of at least one mortal human. Morgana slid into the chair across from him.

“Hello brother dearest,” she said with a grin. “Did you have fun at my party last night?”

Gwen pointed to the coffee counter. “Three?”

“Black,” Arthur and Morgana said in unison. Morgana laughed, and Arthur let himself smile a little. 

Gwen rolled her eyes. “Heathens.”

Arthur watched her walk over to the counter, pointedly avoiding his sister. When she didn’t say   
anything to interrupt the silence, he looked to see that she was back to glaring at him.

“What?” he asked finally.

“You didn’t answer me. Did you have fun last night?”

“Relatively sure that’s not a crime.”

“It isn’t,” she said still glaring. “Merlin left early.”

“Also not a crime. Maybe he wanted an early night,” Arthur picked up his cup of coffee to take a sip before remembering he had already finished it.

“It was New Year’s Eve. He left as the clock was turning.” Arthur shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Morgana grew impatient. “Did you say anything to him?”

Arthur’s eyes flicked over to where Gwen stood gathering their coffees onto a tray at the counter. He tried to calculate the probability that Merlin hadn’t seen the texts, or if he had seen them, then the probability that Merlin had managed to not mention them to Gwen. “Not really.”

“It’s a yes or no question, Arthur,” Morgana said.

“What is it any of your business if I did?” he burst out, standing up. His sister had no right to butt into his life. Lord knew she got pissed when he tried to voice an opinion about hers.

“You’re not going are you?” Gwen asked looking at her tray of in-house coffee cups. Her face exposed genuine disappointment.

Arthur sat back down. He was beyond happy for Gwen and Lance, and had no intentions of getting in their way, but he always had a soft spot for her. “No.”

“Good,” Morgana said. Arthur made a face to which she rolled her eyes. “We aren’t ten anymore, little brother.”

“Whatever,” he said grabbing one of the black coffees.

“What did you say to Merlin last night?” Gwen asked, concern etched into her face.

He sighed. “Nothing. I just asked why he was there.”

“You are so rude,” Morgana said. “It was a party. He’s my good friend, and I invited at least fifty people. Why wouldn’t he have been there?”

Arthur shrugged. He wasn’t the type of person to sit still while he was under attack, but he wasn’t sure what to say in his own defense except that it was none of their business.

“Did you say anything else?” Gwen asked.

“No, he decided to leave, and I was busy,” he finished trying not to feel embarrassed as he thought back on what he was busy doing. “Why don’t you ask Merlin if you want to know so badly?”

“Because this morning Merlin looked like a kid who had his candy stolen from him and then thrown into a muddy puddle,” Gwen said angrily. “And I did ask, but he didn’t want to talk much about it.”

“Are you calling me a bag of candy?” Arthur asked half amused, half incredibly pissed. He wasn’t some possession for anyone to have. And Gwen and Morgana ought to be mature enough to realize that he had his own feelings. Just because Merlin was more of an emotional wreck, it didn’t mean that that was his problem.

“I did read the texts you sent him,” Gwen said. Arthur closed his eyes and wished he had Merlin’s magic. He would turn himself invisible, or teleport away. Morgana pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. Gwen looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Arthur asked. “Ok, so I drunk texted him. I’ll send him an apology if you think it’s necessary, but I’m reasonably sure that once again it isn’t a fucking crime.”

“Why are you so defensive?” Morgana asked.

Arthur stood up. “Because the two of you are coming at me like I’m some sort of bad guy. It’s not my fault that Merlin stole company secrets and gave them to the enemy. Uther would have found out and he would have been worse than fired. I had to fire him. Merlin got pissed at me for it and we had a huge row, but I do miss him at work, ok.”

Morgana laughed. “Arthur you are so full of shit. Merlin gave me some information so that I didn’t do something worse than buy out a competitor and turn it against Camelot Consolidated. In fact, Uther is so over the whole episode that even if he did know what Merlin did, at this point he would thank him since he and I now have Mercia Inc in a corner. You know all of this. Even if you were staying away from Merlin because of the company drama, which you weren’t, then you’re holding onto your grudge months after it’s become irrelevant.”

Gwen was looking at Arthur with the I’m sympathetic, but you’re being an idiot face she usually reserved for Merlin. “I have to go.”

“Arthur!” Gwen called hurring to stand up and pull her coat back on.

“Don’t bother with him,” Morgana said. “He’s hopeless.”

Gwen gulped down one last swig of coffee before ignoring her friend and chasing after her ex-boyfriend. He was a handful, but he wasn’t hopeless.

Arthur was a block away when Gwen grabbed his arm to stop him. She was considerably out of breath. “I need to exercise more.”

Arthur shrugged her off of him.

“Look Arthur, I shouldn’t have brought Morgana along, but I didn’t know how else to get you to meet me. I didn’t want to be creepy and stalk you, and I didn’t want to embarrass you by asking one of the guys.” Arthur felt like he should have thanked her for that much at least, but then she might get the idea that he wasn’t mad at her for meddling. The nice thing about Gwen was that she talked enough to fill all the silences, so he never had to. 

“Morgana can be abrasive, but she doesn’t have loose lips.” Gwen paused, but when he still didn’t talk, she continued. “I didn’t come here on a mission to get you to go give Merlin his job back, or anything for Merlin. I read those texts, and I was really bloody smashed last night, but I remember seeing you with, uh,” she paused and looked at him expectantly.

“Emma,” he supplied, even though he wasn’t sure that was the girl’s name.

“Ok, Emma. You didn’t seem happy, Arthur. You haven’t seemed happy in a while, but last night I realized that I hadn’t been a very good friend to you. I was so concerned about Merlin, I forgot that no one would be checking in on you.”

“I’m not pining after Merlin like he’s some girl who I let get away.”

Gwen smiled. “I never said you were.”

“He was my best friend,” Arthur said. As soon as the words left his lips he realized that that statement had been a sort of admittance, that he wasn’t ok. He turned and started off again. The traffic was moving so instead of crossing the street he made a left turn and kept walking.

“Arthur, did you really stop talking to Merlin because of the company thing?”

Of course he had stopped talking to Merlin after Merlin had given away company secrets. Sure it was only Morgana, but that had been family business. It was business that Merlin had no place sticking his nose into. And Uther would have been livid if he had found out. It didn’t matter that things had settled back down. Merlin had completely betrayed his trust, and then Merlin turned around and kissed him. “He shouldn’t have done what he did.”

“But,” Gwen started.

“Thanks Gwen, but I have to go.” Arthur picked up his pace, but it wasn’t necessary. Gwen knew when she wasn’t helping matters. He waited until her turned the corner before slouching against the wall. He had moved beyond all of this. Why was everyone so insistent to bring it up again? As he closed his eyes he saw Merlin’s dark hair, blue eyes and ridiculously big ears. He moved in closer with a cheeky grin on his face. No, he wouldn’t think about that kiss. He didn’t like men. He certainly did not like Merlin. It was time to hit the gym.


End file.
